A Five Year Old Boy’s Unanswered Question of Drinking HIV Medication -PNG:

“Mother”! “Every day I am drinking medicine”: "when will I stop taking the medication"? Asked the five year old boy!

A loud and clear painful voice of a five year old HIV positive child!

In Papua New Guinea tok pisin it goes something like this: “mama, olgeta de mi daunim marasin, wanem taim bai mi stop daunim marasin”.

WHY medicine going into his stomach every day is a biggest question of his entire life. Albeit, he’s five years old yet visualize clearly through his painful voice sound apparently like older people would do, because his inner concise is telling him that this is not normal in his life. He, in-fact foresee what future holds for him.

“Mother”! “Tell me”: “what’s wrong with my life”?

This helpless voice in the calling darkness of HIV pain for a help from the person he looks up to provide an immediate answer to his relief of taking daily medication. He’s voice is full of confidence that the answer would come from his mother who loved him so much. The child has no doubt that mother will help by stopping him taking the drugs as he thinks in his little world but from a big brain. He conclude something is going wrong with his life.

The poor child do not know he’s HIV status. What he knows is taking drugs that bothers his daily life, yet the mother knows she and her son has HIV.

 If you sitting there reading through this line, what’s going in your mine? The poor mother faced the challenge of a biggest unanswered question of her life. This simple question from a five years old stops the mother’s heartbeat. The darkness blanket her life and finds worthless standing before her son.  What do you except from the mother? She can’t cry,  hug him or say sorry, the question tears her heart into dust yet find steel to stand up to avoid any reaction, simply to comfort the child.

“The question broken me into pieces”. “My heart was bleeding”.” I wipe away the painful tears-the cry of life”. “But I stood up to walk over the trouble of unanswered question and self-pain of HIV trouble to holds my son’s hand and walk home”.

“As we walk home the question continues to search me”. “There was no immediate answer to give it to the boy”. “The boy pain of drinking drugs remains daily trouble to his life, said the mother”.

“You know what, I always put up false smile on my face, yet profoundly feeling hopeless of living”.

Why didn’t you just tell the child that you have HIV?

“I felt guilty telling him”. “What is the good thing to tell him”? “I am also carrying the pain of HIV”. My son’s call is not easily answered”. “It indeed wounded my heart” and as results my heart went to sleep”.

To these days, the mother is yet to answer the child’s question. On other hand, the child is yet to establish the reasons of taking daily medication until such time, he will than know that he had had the killer infection call HIV.

I (writer)  held my breath close to my throat as the sad story slowly sinks into my attentive ears, simultaneously processing the meaning of the HIV suffering at hand, sorrow that is wrapping-up the innocent developing life, crystallizing the degree and magnitude the HIV dilemma holds for his future, my heart broke me into tears.

I search for human answer for this child’s unanswered question-when he can stop taking the medication! Looking through the windows of this world, the world has no answer! Why not? I sit there thinking how can I help this blameless life? Let him grieve because its parent’s choice to be that way. The experience of hearing the tale wounded my heart so much that I couldn’t just do anything. I too become hopeless and helpless like her mother.

The only answer I had had is God. At night, search for the better words that I can use in my silent pray to touch God’s Holy Healing Throne. I ran short of better words. Even writing this story, my strength of helping this child and others out there in parallel condition, it’s just overwhelming my heart. If there was any human answers to this condition; I would shamelessly go to any office or write a letters seeking help, but I come to realize that there is none. So my only hope is God.

God! You have seen the pain I felt when I first hear this story: my heart tears profoundly, and this tear is not enough to move YOUR HOLY THRONE, yet I humbly come to YOU with this humble prayer:

Dear my GOD,

I bring this child and others in similar conditions before YOUR HOLINESS. From my human conscience this child is guiltless but YOU know better than I do.  As he grows with HIV life into manhood, simultaneously, darkness will engulf this youthful guiltless life. As a result there won’t be any greetings from morning sunrise flowers, the setting sun in the west will swiftly draws darkness closer to his heart and the darkness will profoundly blanket his total life into HIV pain. Nothing on this earth will drive away the HIV darkness in his heart and give him the meaning of life full of happiness and peace but YOU CAN. YES, YOU CAN!

Dear GOD, as he grows into manhood, may YOUR COMFORT continuous so that he feels confidence in the life that YOU have blessed him and find joy living his life and if YOU”RE please with this prayer, May YOU heal him. In Jesus Name. Ame!


The conception of life is a result of two persons mutually shared intimacy love. The conception took place in mother’s womb so that what let go may let come out; that is love, a child, that brings joy and happiness into many parents hearts and minds, replace generation names, look after them in their old age, protect territorial boundaries, get educated and contribute to the society.

The born of human life starts with love, and it grows in loving parental environment. As the love cultivates its development, they learn also from the social class, and develop a sense of belonging to a society, and they bring the joy and happiness back to the society.

This life, a life born into HIV, is born into the darkness, and experiencing tirelessness, sleeplessness, hopelessness and worse of it is; drugs going into his stomach day and night: will it stop one day! This question is written in the tender and soft heart of this young faultless life that just arrived to experience what world could offer him.

At five, the life experiences the struggles of drinking medication after medication, asking mother to tell him the truth of why she’s feeding him with medicine than food.  He’s asking mother, why, why, and why medication become center of his life.

"Will I stop it one day drinking this thing call medicine"?

"Will I have rest or no"?

 "Why am I drinking and drinking the drugs that I never dreamt in your womb".

"i only dreamt of drinking your breast milk and foods that you ate when you were like me".

" Did you drink medicine when you were like me or it’s only for me"?.

"What about other children"? "Aree they drinking medicine like me"?

Many parents have sex to get the pleasure of what sexual actions or pleasure rewards them but no intension of having children. As a result many children are born unplanned thus do not receive sufficient parental support.  especially in developing country like Papua New Guinea.

Did the child ask to come into this world?  The choice to have sex is mutual agreement between two parents that is the father and mother, then, the love manifest into physical from; that is human being born into this world. Did he make the choice to invite HIV into his life? It’s all about father and mother’s desire, thus invited HIV, without reasoning the consequence of having sex.  How it happened? Where it come from? Who was the importer? All these answers are found in both parents.

What will be the reaction of this child when he realizes that he has HIV?  Will he hate his parents? Will he kill his parents? Will he get angry or end his life? These remains yet to be seen, how, the silent voice or the call is already been made, a sign getting unhappy.

The family institution compromise of three parts. The father, according to bible is the head of the house. The mother, according to bible is helper of man, and the children are the blessings to the father and mother. The father and mother live and work side by side to bring the children in loving and caring healthy environment so that life carries on.

The HIV coming into the family is invited through deliberate choice, the choice those desire is to satisfy individual’s sexual ego. The agent of HIV into the family is either through mother or father. These individuals are solely responsible for HIV hardship children are encountering in modern HIV generation. Mothers has potential to bring HIV into the family so as father. Both have equal footing.

In this case, mother or father, one of them had had invited HIV through risky sexual behavior outside of the marriage, then, blindly without care refresh marriage intimacy love; may be in the hope of creating new life or desire to satisfy sexual pleasure, the conception took place, which results this life with unanswered question of ‘mama, when will I stop taking the medication’ is born into this world of HIV.

The father of this child marries to second wife, let’s named this lady ‘unknown’. The lady without knowing the health status of this man, let’s call him ‘uncared’ throw away her precious life to HIV infiltrated man. The man, knowingly, expressed his dark heart to an innocent life and infected her.

All three-HIV positive living on HIV drugs.